The last time I found myself reading my blog here was a few months back when my ex-boyfriend, who I mention in this blog, got married. At that time, I found myself writing a very sincere wish to him and his new wife on 'their blog' (of course I was writing my wishes against my better judgement in the 1st place)... Anyhow when I went to hit post (thought I could do it anonymously) I would have signed it as 'mirapex victim - as that is my blogger name here. I freaked out as I didn't want myself and this blog linked to anywhere, let alone on their blog. When I seen my name 'mirapex victim' I felt led to come back here for a quick trip down a very painful journey of memories. Part of me wishes that this journal didn't exist as its all a part of my past I've moved on from and don't care to ever revisit. Each time I have had to think about THIS, (and its not too often anymore) the pain is still very fresh like it happened yesterday. A huge part of my recovery has been just letting go and moving on. In order for me to do this, I look back at this time in my life and choose to see the craziness and the humor in it all - its how I have to see it in order to survive.
I'm back here today BECAUSE- oh lord... there is a part of my life that doesn't know about this, or what happened to me, and just trying to brace myself if for whatever reason it might need to come out. And why can't I just bury it and move on like I have been? There has been such freedom in that, such as acceptance- and to be honest it wasn't all that easy to get my head where it is today. So, backing up to roughly five-six years ago - my life was ALOT different than it was where this blog starts. And thats all I'll say about that right now.
Going to take a short trip down Mirapex lane, will then probably cry myself to sleep, and hopefully pick right back up tomorrow where I want to be, where I need to be....
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